


a place for us

by withoutwords



Series: Ballum Tumblr Fics [12]
Category: EastEnders (TV)
Genre: Affairs, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Infidelity, M/M, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-05
Updated: 2020-12-05
Packaged: 2021-03-10 05:20:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 912
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27888922
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/withoutwords/pseuds/withoutwords
Summary: Tomorrow night he’ll be all alone, with just the memories of this to keep him warm.
Relationships: Callum "Halfway" Highway/Ben Mitchell
Series: Ballum Tumblr Fics [12]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2040865
Kudos: 31





	a place for us

Ben had to move out of that house. With Lola cursing his every move and Bobby like a spooked horse, Ben could barely walk into a room without feeling like the bogey man.

Besides, with cheap rent and utilities included, Ben would have been stupid to turn down the offer. The landlord knew he was a business man, knew his dad wasn’t to be messed with - he probably thought his Christmas had come early.

“You’re fucking with me,” Jay says when he walks in, peering at the mattress on the bedroom floor.

“Alright, alright,” Ben elbows him. “It’s a fixer upper.”

“It’s a burning garbage pile, mate. You got running water?”

“Course I - _shut up_.”

It’s really not that bad. The kitchen had been redone recently, and there wasn’t any naff wallpaper like a lot of other places he looked at. It was just that it had been hollowed out. And Ben hadn’t exactly made an effort to move anything in.

“You’re gonna need some feminine touches.”

“Fem - I’m a bachelor, what do I want with feminine?”

“To make it look nice. _Christ_ , is that a nest?”

Ben kicked him out not long after that. He didn’t care what the little shit said. This was good. His own space, his own privacy - freedom to bring home his hook ups without worrying about them running into Lexi, or his mum.

It only took a week or so to get it nice and clean - to pay someone to do that - and to get the essentials in. He wasn’t rushing to get a bed frame, or a table - there was a sofa and a TV, so really he had it made.

It was good. He liked it. He had everything he needed.

Well. Mostly.

“Uh, Jay told me you moved out,” Callum says pointlessly when he’s standing at Ben’s door. He’s all hunched and awkward with his hands dug into his pockets - Ben can’t help the smile that must flit across his face.

“And here you are,” Ben teases. “If I knew that’d make you come runnin’ I woulda done it ages ago.”

Callum doesn’t bite. “I just thought I’d come check the place out.”

“Sure. Enter at your own risk.”

Callum sidesteps his way in, going to stand in the middle of the kitchen. There’s not much to see - he can probably make out everything from where he’s standing - so Ben doesn’t offer him a tour.

“Would the guest like a drink? Still water? Beer?”

“A beer’d be good, thanks.”

“So?” Ben says when he joins Callum on the sofa, holding both their bottles. “Jay told you it was a shit heap, yeah?”

“Something like that.”

“Thought you’d come judge it for yourself?”

“No,” Callum says with a small shake of his head, nearly choking on his beer. “No, nothing like that. Just thought I’d come see ya, say hi.”

“Say hi?” Ben asks, pulling a face. “Last time I saw ya, ya told me to fuck off.”

“Yeah, yeah I know.”

“So? What’s changed? You figure now I’m all alone it’ll be easier to get away with it, yeah?”

Callum takes another pull from his bottle. He’s flushed but he’s not angry. There’s no fight in him at all, which is almost disappointing. Ben loves when he stands up for himself, when he fights back. “I think about ya every day.”

Ben almost swallows his tongue. “What?”

“I think about ya. About kissing ya. Being with ya. I cant stop.”

“ _Jesus_.”

“And this ain’t some grand fucking gesture, or whatever, okay? I’m not promising nothing. But you’re here, in your own place, and Whit’s gone out for the night and … I just wanted to be with ya. I _needed_ to be here.”

Ben is almost tempted to lunge on him. The thought of Callum pining for him, missing him - just like Ben had been too. But it was weeks now. Weeks of hearing about wedding plans, weeks of watching Callum run the other way. Weeks of thinking about Callum’s hands on him while settling for another random hook up.

He’s a big man. A tough guy.

But he’s not sure that he’s strong enough for that.

“You wanna stay the night?”

“Yes,” Callum says, then reaslises just how desperate he sounds. “I mean, I ain’t, if you don’t - ”

“If _I_ don’t?” Ben repeats, giving him a snide laugh. “This ain’t about me. You made that clear.”

“Course it is!” Callum shouts. “You think you’re just some bloke I’m experimenting with?”

“Ain’t that what you’re doing?”

“No. It’s you. Maybe it’s just you.” Ben can see in his eyes he knows that’s not true. “I donno. But you’re different Ben. You’re confident, and kind when it matters, and you’d do anything for Jay, and Lexi. You’re so loyal.”

Ben can’t hold back this time. He kisses Callum half to thank him and half to shut him up - it’s both wonderful and awful at the same time. To be seen. To be cared for.

“All night?” Ben says again, clinging on, making sure. “You’ll stay…”

“All night,” Callum agrees, kissing him again, and letting Ben lead him to the bedroom.

Tomorrow night he’ll be all alone, with just the memories of this to keep him warm. Tomorrow, and the next night, and the next, until Callum tips himself over the edge again, and comes crawling back.

Ben hates knowing he’ll welcome him into his bed again.

But he will.

His bed, his home, his heart.


End file.
